Becoming a Family of Four

Lately I’ve been mourning the loss of our family size.  I keep looking at Anja and thinking, this could be my last day with just her!  And then I tell myself that’s silly and try to get excited about the new baby’s arrival.

Am I completely nuts?  Have any of you ever felt this way?  I mean, I am so happy and blessed to be having another child, but I feel like a little part of me will miss these times I had with just her…

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13 thoughts on “Becoming a Family of Four

  1. I don’t have any kids, so I don’t have any idea what I’m talking about. But I’ve read other blogs where people felt the same way as you, and then they said that the awesomeness that is watching their two kids interact and love each other helps make up for it.

    With that said, I’m sure you will miss these times sometimes. Just as you’ll miss two-year-old Anja when she becomes 5-year-old Anja or 8-year-old Anja or (especially!) teenage Anja. I still miss my 3- and 4-year-old nephew; he’s 14 now.

    Now see? Isn’t that a cheery thought?! :)

  2. Yes, that’s normal. I recall (while I lived in MN as a matter of fact… Kyla was born in Burnsville…) spending countless hours at the park with Elisan so as to soak up every last minute of fun time with her before the baby was born. I even think Randy felt the same way…

    But, you know what, your family is not complete yet. It will be in a few more week though. And don’t mourn over Anja’s loss of singleton status because she will not remember what life was like before the baby. I love that part of it. Elisan and Kyla are BFF’s now and I think they would be lost with out each other.

  3. I absolutely felt this way!! When I was pregnant with #2, I used to cry at my toddler’s bedside at night, wondering how I could do this to him. LOL But those two have been best friends from the moment they met 14+ years ago, so it all worked out.

    I have 5 children now, but I still say the change from one to two is as huge as the change when you have your first.

  4. You are not alone. I felt the same sadness when I was close to delivering my second.

    And like other commenters have said, it will fade QUICKLY when you watch the sweet sibling relationship develop. Parenthood is just that way. It’s always changing.

  5. I can relate to that feeling. It was impossible to imagine how another kid could possibly fit into our wonderful little world. My head knew I would love her every bit as much as her sister but my heart was having a hard time comprehending. About 2 weeks before girlie #2 arrived we took her sister to see the Wiggles in concert. It just happened to be my 35th birthday as well. I was enormously pregnant, 5 days from my due date (I assumed I’d be as late with #2 as I’d been w/ #1 – I was correct-both my girls came 10 days after their due dates). We had the most amazing day together, just the three of us. Big sister was only just 25 months old but it was as if she knew this was a special day just for the 3 of us. She was an angel that day. We had a blast at the concert, a great dinner out and such a sweet time tucking her in that night. I will never forget what a special, bittersweet birthday that was for me.

    Baby sister came the Weds before Mother’s Day about 2 weeks later and that was the best Mother’s Day ever with both my girlies!

  6. Absolutely. With each of our three boys I absolutely felt that way. I mourned the loss of just being a couple. Of having an only child. Of having two older kids. But then you look back and can’t imagine it any other way/

  7. It is completely normal. I mourned that time with my son before my twin girls were born. I thought, “it will never be just me and Jack anymore”. It will happen again once the baby is born and you see your husband going out or playing with them and you are too tired or have to do something with baby. BUT it gets so much better…you won’t be able to imagine life without baby and when they interact with eachother your heart melts, it’s priceless and you will never want it any other way!

  8. I remember the night before I was induced with my oldest, telling my husband I was going to miss “just us” and then the night before my c-section for the triplets that I was going to miss “just us 3″. I just think it is so hard to imagine what the “new us” is going to be and change is hard…So, yes, I think that your feelings are completely normal. Enjoy this exciting time!

  9. I agree with so many of the others. It’s normal to mourn the loss of what you have right now because it’s good as it is, right?

    Witnessing Anja and her baby sibling interact and bond will be incredible for you. Soon, you will not be able to fathom being anything less than a family of four…or six…or nine.

  10. You know, I’ve HEARD that some women fear that they will not love their second as much as their first…….and all of that fuss goes out the door the minute they hold their 2nd precious little gift. You and Anja can still have mommy and daughter quality time….you’ll just have to plan for it now!!!
    I love you, and hope you have a very Merry CHRISTmas my friend.

    In Him,
    jenn

  11. I have been a nanny so I know how very different life with a child can be to a couple’s lives. Yet at the same time we are *very* naive about this. Months of sleepless nights? Nonstop blood-curdling screams? 16 diaper changes a day? Meh! ;)

  12. I sometimes feel awful that I can’t spend as much time just with our LG as I did before Squawky was born. Then on the other hand, I feel sorry for Squawky because she won’t ever get to have it just her and me, you know? But it’s true, watching them interact is great fun. At least, when it’s NICE.

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