Minnesota Mom

Beware! Nutbar with a camera from the state of Minnesota

Sibling Antagonist January 4, 2010

Filed under: Bad Guy,Husband,Loved Ones,Mothering — minnesotamom @ 12:39 pm

Anja has been going through an “I will negate everything you say” phase for about 3 months now.  It started with the phrase “I couldn’t.”  Some examples:

“Mama, I couldn’t want to go to bed.”

“I couldn’t take a bath.”

“I couldn’t read a book.” (Even though she loves reading, when overly-tired, she will turn down everything, even her favorite pastimes and toys.)

The “I couldn’t” phase has morphed into a “No, my not” phase.  Keep in mind that “my” is her new substitute for “I” here.  Examples:

Me: Anja, would you like some oatmeal for breakfast?
Anja: No, my NOT want oatmeal for breakfast.  My want jelly beans.
Me: Well, Mama is making oatmeal, so if you’d like some breakfast, climb up in your chair.
Anja, climbing into her chair: No, my will NOT eat oatmeal.

Anja: Mama, wanna read a book?
Me: Sure, pick one out and go sit in the green chair, and Mama will come read it to you.
Anja: No, my NOT wanna read a book.
Me: You just asked me to read you a book.
Anja, falling into tantrum on the floor: No read a book!  NO read a book!
Me: Um, no one is forcing you.  That’s fine with me. Goes on with daily tasks.
Anja, picking herself up: Mama, wanna read a book?
Me: Sigh…

And today’s example, hot from the lips of Husband:

Anja, angry because Daddy got out the car seat for the new baby:  I will sit in this car seat.
Daddy: No, this car seat is for the new baby.
Anja: No, I sit in it.  It’s not for the baby.
Daddy: Yes it is.  You’re going to love the baby.
Anja: No, my will NOT love the baby.
Daddy: Yes you will.  And the baby will love you.
Anja: No, the baby will not love me.
Daddy: Yes, the baby will love you.
Anja: No, the baby will not love me; I’m dangerous.

While it provides some pretty funny moments, this pattern is getting old.  She turns down everything, the things she wants to do and the things she doesn’t want to do.  Please tell me it will be over soon!

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7 Responses to “Sibling Antagonist”

  1. hibby Says:

    Ack, oh my goodness, that’s adorable…..but only from a I’m-reading-this-online-and-not-having-to-deal-with-it-myself perspective. It sounds like it has the potential of being rather discouraging.

    Actually, I was recently watching home videos of when I was about her age, and I was being pouty over something. My mom leaned over and informed me I needed at attitude change. Big words for a little girl…. Ha-ha.

  2. Ingrid Says:

    Lol! I love, “I’m dangerous.”

  3. Andrea Says:

    Heidi, it will be over soon… just don’t ask me my definition of “soon”! :-) I had to comment because this made me laugh SO HARD. Been there soooo many times… Please don’t ever teach Anja to say “I” instead of “my.” I love it!

  4. Maria Says:

    LOL, I concur with Ingrid, that is too funny! I can see your point of view that it has to be really frustrating! Hopefully it ends soon and she really does love her new sibling.

  5. Jamie H Says:

    *Sigh* My daughter is 3.5 years old and we are still not over it yet but it is certainly less than it was when she was 2.5 years old!

  6. Barbara Says:

    Heidi – I’m thinking sometime in the next 20 years or so. Maybe sooner? There’ll be good days in there and some worse. There may be weeks when you want Grandma – any grandma – to come take the dangerous one away for a few days – and maybe not just her – but her sibling too. In a few months they’ll probably be fast friends – and where one is, the other will want to be, but that doesn’t mean they’ll always agree on anything!! And there will be many moments of such preciousness that you won’t be sure you can stand it! This is a test you are taking – it lasts years – and how you do on it is very important. But praise God – He is faithful and ever so merciful and gracious! And He’s cheering for you all and making provision so you can be successful. Some of my favorite Scripture – “And it came to pass…”

  7. bren j. Says:

    So I have no idea when it will end here either. Most of those conversations sound exactly like ones we’ve had here in the past few weeks. I despaired for a while last fall because the LG still hadn’t learned to say yes or no. I knew it would come back to bite me in the butt. Now it’s “NO!” to everything. And I can’t even type the way she says she doesn’t want something because it’s just a tone of voice she uses. Funny yes, but tiring.
    We can do it!


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