I met my husband coming down the hallway with a drink in his hand and a cookie in his mouth last night. I was carrying my laptop, but I drew toward him and tried to take a bit of the cookie. He stretched his neck out so I couldn’t reach him. I backed him completely against the wall and said, “I want you,” and started licking his neck like a dog. He was laughing/crying at this point, so I was able to snatch a bite of the cookie.
He scampered off, whimpering, and said, “You raped my cookie!”