Last night in my dream I was in the Olympic Village. Except it was in the Twin Cities, not Beijing. And we stayed in little old 2-story houses that looked like they were built in the 1940s. I was getting up for something during the night and noticed Michael Phelps sitting at the kitchen table.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Can’t sleep?”
“Nope,” he said. He was on the eve of earning his 9th (yes, 9th) gold medal and he was nervous. And he was dressed in his swim gear (minus the goggles).
I offered to help him out, rubbing his muscles and stuff like a trainer would do (that sounds weird, but it was completely platonic). Then, since he still couldn’t sleep, we started out on a walking tour of Minneapolis (wearing normal clothes). We covered a LOT of ground. I remember going through a tunnel underground and narrowly escaping some sort of machine that was sweeping gravel in a circular pattern.
Then we ended up at some sort of club, where Michael started being REALLY fakey and using strange pick-up lines on women. I told him we needed to go back and get some sleep, and on the way back I asked him why he acted the way he did around those women. He didn’t have much of an answer, and then, all of a sudden we passed a baby and a pink bunny on the frozen road (yeah, it was winter, too…during the Summer Olympics), a dozen or so feet apart from each other. The baby said, “Maaaaaaaaaa…” weakly as we passed it, but it wasn’t until I passed the pink bunny that I realized the baby was Anja. I turned back toward her quickly and saw her attempting to turn around. I realized she must have been out for hours, and I saw her frost-bitten hands and face and almost started crying. In typical dream fashion, I couldn’t move or reach out to her. Then I woke up.
It was slightly disturbing.
So here’s my question for you…if you were Michael Phelps, what would YOUR pick-up line be?