It’s been one of those mornings…

Cry 012109

1) Tantrum while I prepared breakfast

2) Refused to drink anything with breakfast

3) While I was on the phone making an appointment, pulled dirty diapers out of garbage and threw them in her crib (I arrived just as one came open…gross)

4) Got crayon in the carpet (seriously, how can crayon stain carpet?)

5) Got into the humidifier, which is currently soaking in vinegar before being cleaned

6) Tantrum while being dressed (nothing new)

7) Helped pick up her toys while Mommy dusted (all by herself!  yay!)

8) MAJOR, 20-minutes, can’t-breathe-because-I’m-crying-so-hard meltdown because she didn’t want to put the last 5 books in the book box

9) Threw self to floor several times in a “traveling tantrum” on the way to her crib

10) Sleeping, tear stains on cheeks, short breaths of frustration

——–

When I was pregnant I asked God to please please please give me a boy first.  Though I said I didn’t have a preference, I was pretty sure He was going to give me a girl just to spite me.  And He did.  She is everything I wasn’t–hyper-emotional, anti-cuddling, stubborn as a goat.  I am stubborn now, but as a child?  I was pretty compliant and obedient.  In high school most of my close friends were guys because they weren’t so catty as girls.  I have never understood The Drama.  And now I get to live with it under my own roof!

I know every mommy has days like this.  I just needed to vent a little.  I am hopeful that with consistent discipline the tantrums can be under control before she is two and maybe we can enjoy that age together without the drama.  Father, now I beg that you would please please please give me understanding and grace.  Grace to let her be who she is, even if she is different from me.  Grace to be a mother before I am a friend.  Grace for myself, knowing that not every parenting move I make will bear good fruit.

——–

On a brighter note, it is warm out today (37, feels like 30!).  I have done two loads of laundry, made a physical therapy appointment, dusted the house, and am hoping to get through my Bible study material before Anja wakes up.  I have a belly full of soup, still have my job, and am still God’s child.  Ah, perspective.

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17 thoughts on “It’s been one of those mornings…

  1. You’re doing great! Mama said there’d be days like this was running through my head as I read. That, and the last day (um, Yesterday) one of my kids had a big meltdown. It comes with the territory! Tantrums are as much a part of toddlers as breathing is necessary. Makes me understand why God gave them to me so small and cute on days they are out of their minds. :o)

    Enjoy the warm weather! It’s going to be 48 here in Wisconsin tomorrow; we’re grilling out.

    Blessings, Carolynn

  2. Emma and Anja must be talking to each other somehow–Emma is in that very same stage. Thank you for writing this post. It is so nice to know I’m not alone in the girl drama. Ethan and Zach were not like this!

  3. I was scared of having a girl too. For the same reasons. So I understand what you’re saying. Except that I don’t have a girl. So I’m making no sense. Just while I was pregnant, I was hoping for boys. Both times. Now I kinda want a girl.

    Sorry your day was rough. Tantrums are a tricky thing to navigate. I’m sorry (to you) that I haven’t experienced too many, but I have lots and lots of friends that have consistently (boys and girls). I never know what to say to help. It just stinks. Hang in there. You’re a great Mama!

  4. One time when our first was a newborn I saw an exasperated mom with one little toddler in the mall and she looked so frazzled chasing him around. I remember thinking what was her problem…she only had one kid–didn’t she have any control?

    Fast forward about 13 months and I began to live her life…our perfect baby became THAT toddler and I didn’t know what hit me…I wanted him to be a certain way and he wasn’t cooperating AT ALL.

    Now four toddlers later, each has had their turn at been difficult in different ways. But I think I’ve changed from those first years…I’ve realized that it is not me. All I can do is love and guide the best way I know how with God and my husband’s help. Our children are who they are created to be…and it is REALLY hard sometimes to accept that they are not me!

    You are doing awesome. When I was going through the first few rough times, I don’t think I could have prayed with so much wisdom as you have. Thanks for sharing. And just so you know…our most difficult two turned out to be super easy, happy three year olds!

  5. Aww, she is cute, even when furious and frustrated.

    My first is a girl. She was far more strong-willed than the boys ever were. The good news is all that rebellious energy seemed to fade by the time she was four (sorry, you were hoping for two). She’s a really lovely girl at age eleven.

    Beatrix, our current House Toddler, absolutely confounds me some days with her dramatics over socks/sippy cups/decision to strip naked the moment we need to take the kids to school. Even after all these kids, a toddler can bring me to my knees.

  6. Boy, you and me both – do you think it’s in the name?
    Those tantrums are the worst! The ones where all she wants to do is sit on the floor and cry. We have such a hard time figuring out what’s wrong!
    I was hoping for a boy too…….so we’ll what this one is.

  7. Oh that picture breaks my heart. (For YOU. Poor mama.)
    Not that it’s easy being little either and wanting what you want when you want it and learning the world REALLY doesn’t revolve around wants. I was lucky tantrum were very few and far far between. BUT, Rob and I went to the PTA meeting last night to hear what the 1st and 3rd grade teachers said. Ye-ah I am freaking out for 3rd because we’ve been warned that that is the age their brains GROW and add to that the begining independence, like the real stuff not the let me pick my clothes from the drawer stuff. Attitude comes into play. Nina has attitude NOW, only it’s muffled behind the testing the world shyness. I thik I’ll start praying now!
    You know, these tantrums could be a good thing, she’s doing it now…set those limits and stick to them, so when she’s 13 and wants to limit push, she’ll know you mean busniess and she will certainly not be throwing herself down on the floor…but the drama will still be there. You know what terrifies me? Having a son and what if I never like a girl he dates??? Giving up Nina to a guy, isn’t so bad, she’ll always come home. But Nick, MY Nicky…ain’t nobody good enough to take him and think she can change him! OH NO SHE ain’t.
    Does that make you feel any better?
    Can you come on the 12th?

  8. Not that it’s any comfort, but boys can be just as temperamental. Mine is currently in the stage you’ve described, although he is 31 months. I was hoping for a girl the first go-round because I wanted to avoid the love of dirt, reptiles as pets, and fascination with all things motorized. Now that I have my boy, I wouldn’t trade him for anything – but I do wish I could do cute ponytails like Anja sports.

  9. You know, I wanted a boy first for the very same reason. I quickly discovered that boys aren’t always easy either. Every personality is different and comes with its own set of challenges, boy or girl.

    Small comfort, when you’re dealing with one meltdown after another, I know, but hang in there! I try to remind myself that this too shall pass.

    (Sorry about the dirty diapers. That’s pretty gross. “Em” went through a phase where she’d open the diaper pail, remove the ring — through which all soiled diapers pass — and wear it around her neck, prancing about like a beauty queen. We keep the pail where she can’t get to it now… just in case inspiration strikes again.)

  10. As the mother of five daughters let me just tell you that it does get better. You hit the nail on the head with “consistent discipline” and “mother before friend”. Daughters are a blast! I echo your prayers both for you and for myself. Amen.

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  12. Oh shewt…she is indeed still beautiful even when in a tirade. I think you have so much wisdom, Heidi, to fall at the Father’s feet in the midst of it! Keep on keepin’ on…and pray that maybe she’s getting it all out of her system early! ;o)

  13. This too shall pass. I was scared of having a boy because boys just think differently then girls. My little boy had plenty of the drama at that age, well my daughter did too but . . . she had to go to her room when she threw a fit. She was allowed to scream as much as she wanted, just not in the room with us (typing that sounds terrible). So she got to where when she felt screaming frustrated, she would just leave the room until she was able to calm down.

  14. Hang in there and be strong. I have two strong-willed boys and the younger one is full of drama. Drama King I call him. Now that he’s using words I hear lovely things like “You are not my friend forever and ever and ever.” “You are the worst mommy ever.” And so on. Don’t know where those words come from, son #1 never used them. And he continues to be determined to run the world the way he wants. There’s a battle and some kind of tantrum almost every day. And since I have two boys, my house is slowly being destroyed from holes in the plaster and drywall (and doors!!!) to ruined sofa cushions and carpets. Some day, when they aren’t so rough, I’ll try to replace everything. But right now, my pretty things are in hiding. Sigh. Enjoy that girl, I so desperately wanted at least one! 🙂 God knows what he’s doing – and I know he’s working on a lot of character qualities in me through my children’s behavior. It’s easier to write all this while they’re sound asleep and not causing problems, though. 🙂 I’m not always so good at the character qualities that need, um, improving!

  15. I know those days! With a preteen and preschooler, believe me, I know. I love the picture though. Its one of those pictures it makes you feel like you were there. I guess your description helps too! 🙂

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