1) Tantrum while I prepared breakfast
2) Refused to drink anything with breakfast
3) While I was on the phone making an appointment, pulled dirty diapers out of garbage and threw them in her crib (I arrived just as one came open…gross)
4) Got crayon in the carpet (seriously, how can crayon stain carpet?)
5) Got into the humidifier, which is currently soaking in vinegar before being cleaned
6) Tantrum while being dressed (nothing new)
7) Helped pick up her toys while Mommy dusted (all by herself! yay!)
8) MAJOR, 20-minutes, can’t-breathe-because-I’m-crying-so-hard meltdown because she didn’t want to put the last 5 books in the book box
9) Threw self to floor several times in a “traveling tantrum” on the way to her crib
10) Sleeping, tear stains on cheeks, short breaths of frustration
When I was pregnant I asked God to please please please give me a boy first. Though I said I didn’t have a preference, I was pretty sure He was going to give me a girl just to spite me. And He did. She is everything I wasn’t–hyper-emotional, anti-cuddling, stubborn as a goat. I am stubborn now, but as a child? I was pretty compliant and obedient. In high school most of my close friends were guys because they weren’t so catty as girls. I have never understood The Drama. And now I get to live with it under my own roof!
I know every mommy has days like this. I just needed to vent a little. I am hopeful that with consistent discipline the tantrums can be under control before she is two and maybe we can enjoy that age together without the drama. Father, now I beg that you would please please please give me understanding and grace. Grace to let her be who she is, even if she is different from me. Grace to be a mother before I am a friend. Grace for myself, knowing that not every parenting move I make will bear good fruit.
On a brighter note, it is warm out today (37, feels like 30!). I have done two loads of laundry, made a physical therapy appointment, dusted the house, and am hoping to get through my Bible study material before Anja wakes up. I have a belly full of soup, still have my job, and am still God’s child. Ah, perspective.