Do you ever feel like you haven’t quite figured out your gift(s)? Like you may have talents in a lot of areas, but you don’t really seem to excel in one?
I have had this frustration for years. In the past year, I haven’t had a lot of time to dwell on it, but in the couple of weeks since Christmas, life has slowed down a lot (I planned it that way, so it’s nice that it’s turning out how I’d hoped). I have had more time to think and write and renew interest in things I haven’t focused on in ages.
Even though I’ve finally discovered “what I want to be when I grow up” (a wife, mother and photographer), I still feel as though there is some larger rock left unturned, and that lurking underneath it is the secret “gift” I’ve been hoping to uncover my whole life.
In high school, I was in everything. I could be, since our school was small-ish (only 150 kids in my grade). I was first chair flute in band, sang alto in the choir, did very well at academics without much effort, and participated in many other extra-curriculars (volleyball, soccer, golf, basketball, softball, knowledge bowl, and drama to name some). I had a blast doing so, but I never really developed any of those talents fully.
I got to college and realized there were a whole HOST of people better than me at all those things. I was last chair flute in the college concert band, still sang alto in the choir, and was involved in a few extra-curriculars (co-ed intramural basketball, Campus Crusade, led worship and Bible studies and helped with youth group at my church). I settled for A’s and B’s (and even one C, darn that Materials class!) so I could still have a life outside of academics (and I still don’t regret that one bit). But again, I never found one thing at which I stood out.
I have hobbies: I make cards, crochet, very occasionally scrapbook, write, work out, spend time outdoors, read, cook, bake, etc. And I’m decent at most of them (a subjective assessment, I realize), but I wouldn’t say “excellent” or even “good” at any of them.
My lines of work, mothering and photography, are never-exhausted subjects where one can always find someone who is doing it better than you.
So what’s a girl to do? Do I just pick something and try my darnedest to be my very best? Or do I continue muddling through life, mediocrity marking my existence?
If you have discovered That Thing that you do best, would you mind sharing what it is? And how you discovered it was your gift?