So my maternity leave ends tomorrow. I’m not gonna lie to you…I think it’s actually going to be harder this time than last time.
There are many reasons for this, but the primary one is this: when I went back to work after Anja was born, it was 20 hrs/week, and THAT’S IT. When I came home from work, work was done. I mean, I obviously still did chores and took care of my girl and had other things going on, but it was not the same as things will be now.
This time, I have a full-time job (being a mom and taking care of our home), plus a part-time job that tends to have full-time hours from May through October (photography). Even though I am very protective of our family schedule and try not to accept too many sessions, I find myself overwhelmed with all the work quite quickly.
Markus is not yet sleeping through the night, and that only makes things harder. Trying to do this job last fall while I was pregnant was difficult, but now…well, I can only imagine that some days it will seem next to impossible.
So, Lord? Some grace? Maybe teach Markus how to sleep through the night for me, since I can’t seem to teach him?
I don’t mean to complain at all–it has been a dream of ours to have me home while the kids are young, and I know that they are my primary ministry and my primary responsibility. But the extra $ don’t just come waltzing in by themselves, so most other things of life (friends, dates with Husband, anything leisurely) will have to be on hold for a time. A LONG time.
I am very thankful that I enjoy photography, or this would seriously have me in tears. And just being honest…I look at other families who are able to make it work on one income and I’m jealous. Husband works SO hard to provide for us, and he does a great job. But there is a disparity between what he makes and what we need that cannot be bridged by me simply “scrimping and saving.” And so I work. Father, let me do it with a good attitude, bringing glory to You. This is where you have us, and this is where we will abide.