Grr…

Hello lovely blog-world friends.  This might be a TMI post, so if you don’t feel like reading emotional drivel, best stop now.  🙂

I think my body might be preparing to get back into cycles again, because lately it feels like I’m having the worst case of PMS ever.  At least, I kind of hope that’s what it is!  Did any of you mommies notice your PMS symptoms got worse after childbirth?  Prior to having kids, I never had cramping, bloating, mood swings…pretty much nothing.  But now I get all those things.  Primarily mood swings.  I get depressed, lonely and needy when I’m PMSing.  What’s up with that?

Here’s another question for those of you with young kids.  How often (say, how many times a month) do you hang out with other women, just for fun?  Don’t count organized things like MOPS or small group, but things like a girls’ night out (even if just to meet for coffee) or a playdate so you can chit-chat while the kids play.  I’m just curious if I’m setting my expectations too high and that’s why I feel so friend-less.  I often think about college and how fun it was to live in community with my friends, all just a stone’s throw away from each other.  I obviously don’t expect married-with-kids life to be just like that, but I think it would be fun to just “do life” with another friend or two–run Target errands together, plan a party together, take our kids to the mall or the zoo or church events.  But again, I think I may have unrealistic expectations.

And since I hate to put up an entire post without a photo or something fun, here’s a lesson:

epic fail photos - Lesson WIN
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7 thoughts on “Grr…

  1. When I just had two kids I’d get together with a friend and the kids about once a month, twice in a good month. Now that I have 6 kids, I rarely meet up with friends. This is partly because I haven’t really made any friends since we moved south and partly because it’s easier to stay home: naps, all the food and toys and school is here. My mom comes over 4 days a week and we homeschool the kids together. Between her and my husband I feel I get some socialization. I made a friend recently who also has 6 kids. It’s easier for me to go to her house because she runs things basically the same way I do. It’s almost like staying home. I’ve met up with her 3 times in two months. I was never very social in the first place though. I’m kind of a homebody.

    After I had my kids, I definitely got more emotionally crazy during PMS.

  2. I actually discussed this with a friend not so long ago and we both agreed that it’s worse after kiddoes. So not fair. But I guess once you whack out your system like that it never quite goes back.

    I see a girlfriend a time (or two, if I’m lucky) a week, which to me never feels like enough. To be honest – I feel lonely quite often. What you describe wanting? It’s the deepest desire of my heart, too.

    And you know what? Reading your blog I have to say you’re someone I would love to know better. If you ever want to get not-lonely together, drop me a line 🙂

  3. I’d say I get together with moms about 2-3 times a month. That’s less than I ever envisioned. Usually, it’s meeting at the mall or a park to hang out. Sometimes at each other’s houses, which I like. Nothing inspires me to go a little deeper with cleaning than knowing so-and-so is coming over on Tuesday morning for coffee.

    Could you be pregnant? I got pregnant twice while breastfeeding WITHOUT getting a period (I went 4 years without a period from 2001 to 2005). I caught the first ovulation. Or it caught me. My first symptom was the feeling that my cycle was coming at any time but it never did…

    If not, it could be just because you are older. Bodies get all wonky again in the 30s.

  4. Going out with moms and their kids isn’t nearly as awesome as it looked when I was wanting to be a mom. It’s work. Which I think is why we don’t do it as much as we might like to. At least, I don’t! I try to do it, though, it’s good for the kids!

  5. I completely relate with PMS getting worse with kids. When I got my cycle back after the third, it was HORRIBLE. Turns out I developed Pre-Menstrual Disphoric Disorder (PMDD). It sounds like yours might be along these lines, too. You should look it up. It is treatable with medication, but it took about 5 cycles to find the exact combination and amount of meds for me. Now, I feel like I have a normal cycle – no more craziness, so the meds are worth it.

    As for getting together with friends, when I had one I did all the time. With 2, maybe 2-3 times a month. With 3?? Uh, I meet a friend once a week at the gym for a pre-dawn workout. Does that count? 🙂 I am very social, and it does drive me nuts sometimes. However, my best friend continues to live in FL, even though I have done my best to get her to TX again, so I cannot really hang out with her anyway. That is why I blog and use my phone. I’ve learned to have that social interaction in other ways.

  6. Uh oh… I did have a bad case last month. Hope it isn’t permanent.

    Tonight after we put the baby to bed, I drove a friend home and totally dropped in (!!!) on a different friend in the same neighborhood before going home. It was so weird being out without my husband and baby, but it felt so good hanging out and chatting on her bed. I love my current life, but I guess in a way maybe I do miss that kind of life.

    I was just a baby shower on your street last week. Do you know Missy? She’s a BBC mom, too, with kids of ages similar to yours, I think.

  7. I think PMS after kids could be worse because we’re more sleep deprived. Caffeine aggravates it for me.

    I get together with a friend apart from scheduled events once in a while, maybe once a month? Sometimes it’s more, but it’s hard because it takes time to make plans, but we have to cancel if one of our kids are sick. I live in a big city so it can be a long drive to go see a friend, and that makes it hard too. So I rely on organized groups like Bible study to help take the pressure off of trying to coordinate plans, and at times I’ve also arranged to have repeating play dates on certain days of the week. It’s good, but it’s not easy to talk over a bunch of playing kids, so it’s a lot of work too and that’s why we don’t get to do it more often. My friend and I had tried to do cooking days together, but it was so much harder with all of our kids there with us. I miss the community of college too, but everything is a season.

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