Older Sister

At the age of almost three, I was blessed with a younger brother.  We’ll call him…Scooter-Boo, SB for short.  That was actually a nickname of his that my mother still uses on occasion, believe it or not.

 

SB worshiped the ground I walked on for about 3 or 4 years.  It was quite pleasurable having someone who thought everything you did was incredible.  Today I will be relating one of my not-so-inspiring moments as an older sister (oh, there are many).

———

 

The cast:

Me
SB
A very realistic-looking baby doll named Electra

 

The drama unfolds…

SB: What are you doing with Electra?

 

Me: Oh, we’re going to go to the store.  See, she’s got her little red purse!

 

SB: Can I come?

 

Me (seeing opportunity for manipulation): Well, I suppose, but we’ll probably only be able to look at things, since Electra doesn’t have any money.

 

SB: She doesn’t?

 

Me: Nope.  See, poor Electra.  Her purse is empty.  Look! (holding up empty purse)

 

SB: Awwww…poor Electra.

 

Me: Yeah, it’s too bad, isn’t it?  You must feel really terrible, since she’s your sister and all.

 

SB: She’s not my sister!  She’s not real, Heidi.

 

Me: Yes she is!  Mom had her not too long after she had you.  She just lets me take care of her (you can see the absolute genius at work in my 6-yr-old mind).

 

SB: Nuh-uh.  I’m telling.

 

Me: You shouldn’t tell or you’ll make Electra CRY.  Remember, she’s so poor…

 

SB: Well, what if I gave her my money?

 

Me (acting shocked): Well, that would be awfully nice of you!  She’d be so happy.

 

SB runs to get quarters from his Velcro wallet.  He returns promptly and places them in Electra’s (read: MY) little read purse.

Me: Wow, thank you.  That was very nice.  What do you say, Electra?

Electra (in a voice strangely like mine only a little higher-pitched): Thank you, SB.  You’re such a nice brother.

SB (blushing a little bit and glowing with pride): You’re welcome, Electra.

Me (thinking): Triumph!

 

———

So as you can see, I was not the nicest sister.  Not even the second-nicest.  There will be more of these lovelies to come on days when I’m feeling overly-proud of myself.  Keeps one humble to remember how disgusting one can be.  Even when one was but six at the time.